The readings this weekend are hard reading to preach on. In the Epistle we have Saint Paul struggling with a Shakespearean dilemma “to be or not to be”. In the Gospel we hear Jesus basically say that life is not always fair, but we have accept what is given to us and be happy.
These are hard messages to hear during a worldwide pandemic. It is even harder for me to hear in the midst of all the struggles I have right now. Many of you know that I am taking a break from the hospital and that I have receive a ton of hate on the internet lately. Death threats seem like a daily occurrence. People writing me messages just to tell me that I am a horrible human being for supporting black lives and the LGBTQI community.
How can I not love and support everyone? Even in the midst of despair and darkness, Saint Paul told the Romans that “love is the fulfillment of the law.” (Romans 13:10) How could I deny them love and expect God to love me?
As a genderfluid pansexual priest I can no more refuse anyone love than I can refuse loving myself. And for many years I did try to refuse loving myself. I tried to refuse love to everyone else. And it made me a bitter and hate-filled person. It nearly destroyed my marriage and it did destroy many friendships.
Only when I accepted who I was, was I able to love others. The thoughts of suicide started to go away and the world seemed much brighter. Sharing love with others has helped me heal as an individual. So we could all learn a lesson that life should be about loving others rather than hating them. We should all learn to accept that all things are not fair, but life is worth living.
Then and only then can we truly say that we are Christians.
God loves you all and so do I!